Roxanne, or, Have A Cuppa Tea
by keepfabandgayon
Summary: Finn doesn't have to wear that dress tonight. Kurt doesn't have to sell his body to the night. And it's not a prostitute AU.


I was reminded of this fic today and I noticed I never shared it here. Whoops!

Think of this as a sort-of AU that completely goes off in a different direction before "Never Been Kissed". Kurt's still at McKinley, and the Hudsons and Hummels are living together despite the lack of marriage. Also, this takes place a few months later.

My Finn!voice is, IMO, quite inferior to my Kurt!voice so I doubt I'll be using it much in the future. Finn sounds so… _mature_ and unlike himself in this. Oh, the trials of being dramatic.

000

"Absolutely not."

"Huh?"

"You are not leaving the house looking like… _that._" Kurt eyed the torn-beyond-distressed jeans and the questionably stained t-shirt with distaste.

Finn rolled his eyes, used to being accosted about his clothing. "Dude, I'm gonna be helping Puck _paint the house_. What am I supposed to wear, a tux?"

"Have you even showered today?"

"Again, painting the house. I'm just gonna have to shower again later."

"You could do well with showering more often."

"I shower every day!"

"Yes, and half the time you're using the boy's locker room, and you get about thirty seconds in there before the water freezes."

"Are we really arguing about where I shower? That's kinda creepy, man." Finn started toward the stairs of the basement they still shared as a bedroom.

He stopped when he heard a textbook drop onto the floor. _Shit, what did I say this time?_ He turned around, very slowly, and was met with what he liked to call "boiled Kurt"; Kurt's face was bright red with anger, and his fists were shaking at his sides.

"_Creepy? _I thought you got over that, Finn." There was the too-forced calmness, anger bubbling up in the long vowels.

_Shit! _"I didn't mean it that way!" He waved his arms and backed up.

"Sure. It's not like I have any reason to suspect-"

"Kurt-"

"-because it's not as if you've ever done anything wrong to me-"

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"-or called me, I don't know, a _fag-_"

"I apologized for that already!"

"Maybe I haven't accepted it!"

"You said you forgave me!"

"Well then I lied."

"Agh!" Finn gave up. If Kurt wanted to have this argument again, then dammit, he was going to _get_ his argument. "You do this all the time, Kurt! You pretend to forgive me, or anyone, for something we did without thinking, and then _you_ misinterpret something and you blame it all on _me_. You put words in my mouth all the time. I'm tired of this!"

Kurt breathed out, very slowly.

Boiling Kurt's Whistle. All that was left was-

He turned around and nearly ran to Finn's closet, opening it and dragging the hangers over with a loud _screech_.

That wasn't what he was expecting.

"I know it's in here somewhere- no, no, no, agh!" His hands grabbed onto the last item in the closet, pressed up against the wall, and looked through the little window of the garment bag.

Bright hooker red.

Kurt yanked the bag forward and, in one movement, yanked the zipper open. He tossed the contents on Finn's bed.

"Put it on."

"What?"

"Put it on. Apologize like you mean it."

"_What? _No!"

Kurt's face screwed up in what Finn thought was the most hateful expression he'd ever seen on the boy. He turned away and strode over to his own bed, stopping short in front of it. He toed off his shoes and socks, but Finn didn't notice.

"Put on the dress, Finn."

"Why should I?"

"You sound like a child."

Finn didn't respond to that - maybe he _was_ acting like a two-year-old, but so was Kurt.

"Put it on."

"No."

"_Put it on, _Finn."

"Make me!" He instantly regretted saying it. Kurt never backed down from a challenge.

Kurt was shaking, and he pulled his hands in front of his chest. Finn stared at his back, waiting for the inevitable retaliation.

"One more chance. Put it on."

"_You_ put it on."

In one sweep of his arms, Kurt's jacket was on the floor. "Put on the dress."

"You're gonna _fight_ me?"

Kurt laughed, for lack of a better word - humored shriek was a little closer. "Put on the dress."

"No way. I can take you."

Kurt's shirt joined the jacket on the floor. Finn stared at Kurt's back (still scarred in some places, even months after the bullying ended and the other guys in Glee had set up a sort of Secret Service, headed by Puck, to protect him) realized that something was horribly wrong.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Put on the dress."

"Kurt-"

His arm struck out to the side, his belt making snapping sounds as it was yanked through his belt loops. He threw it down, the buckle clanking as it hit the floor. "Put on the damn dress!"

"Stop!" Finn got up as Kurt pushed his pants down and kicked them to the side.

Finn stood there, frozen to the spot, as Kurt turned around slowly. He stopped breathing; Kurt was crying.

Tea Poured.

That was always the end of their arguments; Finn could never stand to see Kurt cry, and most of the time Burt would come down to the basement, his Kurt Senses tipping him off, and try to calm him down before he reprimanded both of them.

"Put on the dress." Kurt had kept his voice so controlled, but he let it crack then. No point in hiding it when Finn could see the tear tracks.

Finn couldn't even talk. He just stared, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"Put on the dress!" Kurt's hands flew to the waistband of his underwear and Finn moved forward, grabbing Kurt and pulling him into a hug as he completely broke down.

"I'm so sorry."

"It was just a _dress_, Finn."

Finn grabbed a blanket off the bed and wrapped it around Kurt, who grabbed onto it with shaking, cold fingers. "Kurt, no. It's not just a dress. That dress is special because I used it _once_. I'm not using it again, that'll just make it my… _apology dress._ It won't be special."

"I thought you were angry at me."

"I am. But you're still my brother and my best friend-" Kurt's fingernails dug into Finn's skin through his thin shirt, and he was crying harder. "Ow! What-"

Kurt pushed him away and ran into the bathroom. The lock clicked and the shower started.

Finn sighed and went up the stairs. When Kurt wanted to be alone, there was no consoling him; he wouldn't listen, might not even hear through the rush of the water.

Finn decided he needed a little alone time, too.

000

Finn returned to the basement an hour later after having time to think and to take a look at the little, shallow cuts Kurt had managed to make, even through the shirt, and calling Puck to apologize that he wouldn't be able to make it, some things had come up and he just couldn't leave, no he couldn't talk about it, sorry.

The shower was still running, and the room was uncharacteristically warm for being underground. He noticed the bathroom door had been slightly opened, which explained the heat and the moisture permeating the gray room. It also explained how Finn could clearly hear Kurt singing.

"_I've loved everything about you; that hurt, so let me see your moves, let me see your moves…_"

A sob. He was still crying. Crying to _Fall Out Boy_, of all things. Finn didn't even know Kurt liked them.

"_Lips pressed close to mine…_" Another sob, more choked than before.

He couldn't take it. Finn ran back up the stairs as the front door opened, revealing a very tired-looking Burt. Once he stepped in, he seemed to wake up, as if he could sense what had happened. He looked straight at Finn, then closed his eyes and made a pained face before motioning for Finn to sit down.

"What happened this time?"

Finn looked down. Maybe he was really, really dumb most of the time, but this time he was smart enough to not relate all of what had gone down in the basement to Burt. "I made him cry. Don't ask him about it, it's my fault and I'm gonna fix it." He knew Burt wouldn't believe him, but he also knew that he'd agree to not mention it to Kurt, and that he trusted Finn to fix it.

Burt nodded, then stared at the table, looking like he was debating whether or not to say something.

"What?" Finn asked warily.

"He's never stopped loving you, you know."

Finn was surprised to find that this didn't surprise him in the least.

"He never gave up. He still thinks you'll come around."

"Oh." There wasn't anything else he could say.

000

Finn was laying on the couch when Kurt came up. He didn't get up, not wanting to send Kurt back into tears at the sight of him, but listened as he walked around the kitchen. He heard something being unwrapped - probably chocolate, as Kurt always stuffed himself with Hershey's after he cried - and the screech of a chair being pulled across the old tiles.

"Dad?"

"Hm?"

"Did Finn tell you what happened?"

"No. Did you want him to?"

Kurt sighed. "No."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Not really."

"Do you want to give me a vague, abridged version of what happened so I don't think it's worse than it was?"

Kurt sighed again. "He said something, I overreacted, I tried to make him apologize by making myself cry."

"And how did you do that?"

"I'm an actor. I can cry on command."

"Kurt."

"...I pretended he loved me." The next sob stabbed Finn right through the chest. "It always works, because he never, ever does." More chairs scraped, and Burt whispered something apparently comforting to Kurt.

Finn got up and went to the door. They didn't notice him walk out. He sat on the curb, head in his hands.

Kurt had loved him. He knew that much. At first he had known it was just a crush, but by the time the argument that had brought about the existence of that dress had happened, Finn knew it was love, and that scared him.

He honestly believed that Kurt had gotten over it. A summer should have been long enough, he assumed - he got over Quinn in less time than that, and he had been so sure he loved her.

But Kurt still loved him. He'd never stopped - he'd just gotten better at hiding it. He'd masked it all behind pretending to like other guys, maybe even honestly liking other guys, but he'd never given up on Finn.

He'd pretended Finn loved him back, stripped down in front of him as if that was what he wanted. But because Kurt knew it wasn't true, that it would never be true, he'd cried.

Kurt still loved Finn. He must have been hoping too hard that he had a chance, that Finn would suddenly fall in love with him, gender be damned, and it would all be worth it.

But it just wasn't going to work. Finn didn't see him like that. Kurt was his friend, and that was all he'd ever be.

000

After sitting out on the curb for what felt like hours, Finn had gotten to wondering why, exactly, he didn't love Kurt.

He couldn't think of a reason why he _should_, but then again, didn't they say that when you love someone, you don't need a reason?

And he couldn't think of any reason _not_ to, either, beyond the fact that Kurt was a guy and therefore not within Finn's carefully defined lines of this-is-who-I-am-interested-in-dating. Those lines included "very feminine women with nice boobs" and definitely didn't include "very feminine men with no boobs" and therefore didn't include Kurt and his fem-manly breastlessness. Right?

Well, maybe he could... edit those lines a little? Lines were too confining. Maybe in things like football, lines would be a good thing, because they showed you where you were and where you were allowed to be and how much farther you needed to go. But in things like who Finn was letting himself love - and there it was. Who Finn was _letting_ himself love. Who he was _letting_ himself think about in any romantic way.

Maybe he should think less about what he should _let_ himself do, and focus more on what he was willing to do.

His thoughts took him back to Kurt. Why didn't he let himself love Kurt? Or even _like_ him, beyond the boundaries of just friends? It wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he'd get crap for it from some of the guys at school. Maybe Rachel would be utterly conflicted on whether to be jealous or to absolutely _gush_ over how cute they were and, as a result, ignore him completely until she figured it out (and maybe the break from constant Rachel-Rachel-Rachel wouldn't be so bad). Maybe Puck would jokingly call him "Finnessa" but really just be the secretly overprotective bodyguard he had become to Kurt since Burt had the heart attack.

Maybe Finn would be happy anyways.

The door opened and light spilled out, silhouetting Finn onto the sidewalk. He hadn't even noticed it was dark.

"Finn." Kurt's voice was still shaky, and Finn wondered for a moment if Kurt would be okay to sing the next day, with all the crying he'd done. "Dinner. Come inside."

Finn stood, stretching, and brushed off the back of his jeans. He turned and was startled by how red Kurt's eyes were. How long ago had he stopped crying? Or, was he just about to start again?

He moved forward slowly, wondering the same thing again - "_Why don't I love him?_" - and, before Kurt could back off and let him in, he put his hand over Kurt's on the doorknob.

He stared at Kurt, trying the words out in his head. _I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you._ They felt... maybe not perfect, but they didn't feel wrong.

The lines shifted a little. Finn had previously drawn himself inside of a rectangle and insisted that nothing outside of it would ever reach him, stuck in the very middle. Now, the lines blurred on one side, like someone had turned off the lights on one end of the stadium, and the lines just weren't visible in the dark.

He moved forward slightly, and tried the words out loud. "I love you." They felt right, out loud like that. He'd said them before, to other people. He hadn't been sure then, but it had seemed like the right thing to say at the time. Now, it didn't feel like the right thing to say, not now that Kurt was probably angry at him and still sad and after all this time of Kurt loving him it felt far too late, but Finn was sure.

Kurt froze, gasping a little. His eyes welled up with tears again, but before they could fall, Finn leaned in the rest of the way and kissed him. That felt right, too. Right in a way that he knew he wouldn't care if he and Kurt got matching slushies-to-the-face and Finn got called all sorts of things he wished he'd never said to Kurt.

Kurt pulled back, wide-eyed. "I- um- ah- dinner," he finally choked out, somewhat breathlessly.

"Yeah," Finn replied, and followed him inside.


End file.
